long story short

 i thought that you leaving me was a death sentence on the contrary i survived

 Grieving is a funny process, you can be on the road to overcoming it when something small and insignificant triggers the pain. and you can't do anything but lay there and let all the waves wash you away. The waves suddenly go 50 meters tall again and you can barely catch your breath, you think you're gonna drown, you know you won't but the waves are so powerful you think you may not make it. But you do, soaked and shaking and feeling like next time you will not be so lucky but you will, you always do.