25 Jan 2021

 Dear diary,

Lately everything has been too much and nothing at all, do you know what i mean?

I feel a little directionless, senseless, anythingless... I don't know where to go, what to do, i'm stuck in a place i don't like but i don't know what to do to move forward. I can't stop feeling bad and crying a lot, i don't even know why.

Everything was going well then the christmas holidays came and the end of the year + being my first xmas without my dad made everything feel like failure even when i was sort of blooming.

I just feel like life chew me whole and then spat me out on te floor, wet, fragile and a bit broken.

I just want to have a cool job and not feel broke after paying rent.